Glowing Up 101 Part 4: Loving Yourself

Hey guys, this is Sri!

I hope your glow up is going amazing. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, you’re gonna have to check out the rest of the series: Glowing Up 101.

Today’s gonna be all about self love and gaining the confidence to be the best version of ourselves.

Stop comparing

If everybody on earth looked the same and did the same things to the same ability, we’d all be clones. And even scientists who do clone animals think that’s not a good idea. I mean, we all love India because of the kind of diversity it has. Now imagine if we were all the exact same people. Would India be so fascinating without its diversity?

I could convince my parents to let me be on Instagram or on Facebook or Twitter, but the thing is, I’m just gonna look at all the people over there and be like, “Oh, I wish I could be them,” when I really don’t. I wish I could be me. And I am me.

So there we have it, self love 101: stop comparing yourself with others. They can’t be you and you can’t be them.

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Stop the self-deprecating jokes

Self deprecating jokes don’t hurt anyone. You’re just talking about yourself and hoping people laugh, right? Wrong.

I’ll be the first person to say, self-deprecating jokes are funnier then my singing skills- STOP!

Self deprecating jokes, even if you mean them as jokes, are basically you telling yourself, “This is me,” and not in a good way. Think of it like this, if you love someone else, will you make mean jokes about them? I don’t think so. So why are you doing that to yourself?

Romanticize yourself

Oh, oh, would you look at that! That girl on the mirror with glowing skin. Look! Her acne is disappearing! Whoa! She’s so beautiful!

Maybe you don’t even believe that, but still. Try romanticizing yourself and your life as much as possible. And soon enough, you’ll start believing it.

We tend to romanticize the most normal things if they take place in a movie/kdrama/web series and are beautifully shot and aesthetically colour-graded (is that even a thing?), so why not romanticize them when they happen in our lives?

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Take responsibility for your life

Why was your life not how you wanted it to be before you started this journey? Is it because of your old friends who were gossip sharks? Or is it because of your boss who just didn’t give you that promotion? Or is it because of your significant other who doesn’t understand your goals?

Nuh-uh. My friend, your life wasn’t the way you wanted it to be because you didn’t let it. You were standing in your way. And this whole journey is just to help you get out of your own way.

And I need you to stop waiting. Stop waiting for your fairy godmother to show up and miraculously make your life better. You are your own fairy godmother/godfather. So wave your magic wand and transform your life from miserably doing chores to catching everyone’s eye at the ball!

ME

Forgive the past

If you came here to feel better about yourself, you’re probably feeling low after reading the previous tip. “Have I really been sabotaging my own success? Was I that stupid?”

If I had a rupee for every time I had been stupid or cringy, I’d be the richer than Elon Musk. And I’m pretty sure it’s the same for everyone.

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We just need to forgive ourselves for all of that and move on.

Again, if someone you love makes a mistake, would you hold it against them for long? You’d just forgive them and move on, right? So why are you holding a grudge when it comes to yourself.

Focus on the next right move

I know from personal experience that life can be seriously overwhelming at times. And one thing I’ve always been fascinated by is how some people (like surgeons!) remain calm when they have so much at stake. It’s simple: they just focus on the next right move. Ask yourself what one thing you need to do right now to get out of this. And then, once you’ve done that one thing, ask yourself what the next right move is.

It’s like a game of chess, really. You could go up against a grandmaster and stress out about the endgame during the opening, or you could throw yourself into it and focus on the variations s/he could respond with for your move and then focus on the next right move.

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Take care of yourself

Uh, this is a no-brainer, but take care of yourself. Again, if someone you love is stressed or upset or even just tired after a long day at work, you’ll do something nice for them, right? You’ll help them relax. So, again, do the same for yourself. I know I sound like a broken record, but self love is literally just about this one principle.

Practicing self-love is really just about asking yourself, “If someone else I love were in this situation, what would I do?” and then applying that to yourself. And, with practice, you get better at it.

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Be grateful

Being grateful not just benefits people around you – they’ll have to deal with way less negativity from you – but also beneficial to yourself. I’ve realised that I have a burning urge to answer back to my mom, and this (obviously) leads to a ton of screaming from both of us. But if she scolds me when I’m writing my journal, I tend to answer back a lot less, because I write about it and then I go, “But then she’s right. She works so hard and I literally don’t help at all.” And then I go do whatever she needs me to do. And more. The only reason I’m able to take up at least part of the responsibility for running the household is because I’m supremely grateful for my parents.

And we all are grateful. We’re grateful for so many things. The only problem is that we sometimes don’t remember that we’re grateful.

ME

So maybe start a gratitude journal. Or start a gratitude Instagram account instead of posting pictures of anorexia. Or (ooh, ooh) start a gratitude blog and maybe tag me?

The 17 Second Rule

So if you want to complain about how crappy life is, why COVID sucks or how your teacher just hates you, set a timer in your phone for 17 seconds. Complain aloud for those 17 seconds and then, once your time is up, stop complaining, and leave those negative thoughts behind.

Keep them talking

This is for all my fellow worriers who worry in the typical Boomer way, “Log kya kahenge?”

Y’all, my brother gave me a golden piece of advice and I really wanna share it with you. Log will say mean things about you no matter what. If you’ve taken Arts or Humanities because you like it, they’ll say, “Oh, s/he is never going to make it.” If you take science, they’ll be like, “You’re not smart enough for science.”

If you abide by the rules you’re “too stuck-up” and if you break them you’re “a rebel.”

And if they’re going to talk about you no matter what you do, why not just do what you want to and keep them talking?

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Respect yourself

Lastly, respect yourself. Respect your choices, your freedom, your feelings and your body. Other people will automatically stop walking over you if you stop taking yourself for granted. And even if they don’t stop, if you respect yourself, you’ll automatically gather the courage to say no to them.

That’s it for now, guys. I hope you found this post useful. If you did, maybe consider following this blog because I (try to) post every Sunday. Until then, this is Sri signing off. Aloha!